dear carbs,
look. we have had an amazing ride together. you are awesome to hang out with, you've always been there when i needed you, and let's face it - you taste really yummy. but it's just not working for me anymore. i need to break up. and no, it's not so i can go be with dairy. i never hide my affairs with dairy so i won't start now.
thank you for 33 great years but it's time for me to move on. i have high hopes for year number 34, and while it hurts me, i just don't think you are going to be a part of it.
love always,
me
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