soul in peaces (for my sister)

how can words explain this?
i cant touch the part of me that misses you; i fear it will overtake me.
my memories are fading.
i barely remember your voice though you speak to me daily.
i barely remember the color of your eyes though i feel them watching me.
i barely remember the feel of your skin though i feel your spirit embracing me.
i wish you knew me.
not just the kid the existed before you left
but this adult that i have become.
i want to share my secrets with you,
and feel your trust.
i want my friends and lover to know you,
to feel your love.
i want to share my joys with you,
and hear your laughter.
i want to tell you my fears
and hear your reassurances again.
i want to cry because of the joy i feel from you,
not because you are no longer by my side.
i fear you never knew what you meant to me;
you were my center, my friend
my sister.
you are loved
but you are gone.
someplace without pain.
where you are forever beautiful
and i am left here amongst the ruins
to find shreds of joy wherever i can
with a torn soul that only time will mend.
and i wait for the planes in my sleep, where you join me.
where i can feel the peace of you.
and i feel sure, you know the me i never will
and i see again the you i will never forget.